Contrast

We recently swapped brands of dog food, and we got several cases where the cans were bent, which was bad enough, but what I really hated was when the can lid would not open all the way. These cans often had blips where the can opener skipped two places, on OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE LID. When that happened the lid would not detach, and you could destroy the tines on a whole set of forks futilely trying to pry one side loose. The lid would only open like it was hinged, half of it digging into the dog food, half of it up like a protruding, up-side-down guillotine blade. Then you had a space of say, oh, an inch and a half to wrestle out dog food that was four inches deep in the can, trying to avoid sharp, slicey edges that would slit your knuckles and remove ounces of your flesh from your hand, all the while flinging hunks of wet dog food everywhere. What should have taken three minutes could gobble up at least twenty minutes of your time, but only if you didn’t count scrubbing the kitchen walls or the trip to the emergency room.

When I complained to my vet, he made good on the bent cans of dog food. Even better, he showed me the safe-edge can opener he had just started using this year. He liked it so much, he got one for his house.

Folks, I know this is twentieth century technology, but I live in a small town and do not like to shop. Plus I just do most things like I did them yesterday, and so replaced a defunct opener with another just like it, but new. I had not tried this new fangled gadget. I immediately rushed out and bought this one:









The blade fits against the can and disconnects the whole top, rim and all. No sharp edges. It’s worked every time on every can, though I did have to have a little seminar to teach Mr. K how to use it.

And here’s the deal. Every time I use this can opener, I am solaced and coddled. I am happy. Really happy. Would every time I open a frigging can make me so happy now if it had not been so hard in the past?